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Tonight, I feel that after all these years, I’ve been cruel to myself. Why? Because at that very time, I handle things as though I will get better in the (near) future. The fact is; I never knew when that future might be. Maybe it’s true that my financial income will increase, my looks will improve, my skill will sharpen, and so on; things that related to better lives, better performance. Although I can feel it, but still; I don’t know when. Because of this miss behavior, I’ve lose things that should have been mine at that time just like that… (Like the wind blows…)

Example; if I had only 1 cents in my pocket and at that moment a beautiful lady was there, sitting, waiting for me to ask her for some small meal (hang-out), then I have to figure a way how to actually make it a wish come true. Not another ‘maybe next time, when I have the money’…pah!$#@ The thing is; when I really have the money, that lady were never there. She is some kind of a fate made; appears in a situation when I’m in that kind of budget. To me, sometimes we must accept probably this maybe one of the God test to see whether we can handle it or not.

Realizing that, so from now on, I dramatically change my lifestyle. With or without, I’m going to stay put. And that is to be ‘Me‘.